{"product_id":"tactical-llama-i-identify-as-a-fucking-problem-ocp-3-5-pvc-patch","title":"Tactical Llama - I Identify As a Fucking Problem - OCP 3.5\" PVC Patch","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"270\" data-start=\"0\"\u003eMeet the patch that announces itself before you do — a \u003cstrong data-end=\"114\" data-start=\"55\"\u003e3.5\" PVC warning label in the shape of a tactical llama\u003c\/strong\u003e. This wool-covered menace is geared for chaos: combat helmet secured, kit dialed in, eyes locked on bad decisions. Calm? Never. Problematic? Intentionally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-is-only-node=\"\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-end=\"554\" data-start=\"272\"\u003eWrapped around this four-legged liability is the phrase \u003cstrong data-end=\"365\" data-start=\"328\"\u003e“I IDENTIFY AS A FUCKING PROBLEM”\u003c\/strong\u003e, because self-awareness is a weapon. Durable PVC with hook backing means it sticks wherever you slap it, letting everyone nearby know you’re not here to blend in — you’re here to escalate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"799\" data-end=\"811\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"799\" data-end=\"811\"\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e3.5 inch patch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes hook fastener backing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for hats, bags and jackets with loop fastener panels.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eImported PVC\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"43d5fb69-453e-4760-8989-63caa72c0cab\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-2\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"266\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"12\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eWarning:\u003c\/strong\u003e This 3.5\" PVC tactical llama patch clearly identifies \u003cstrong data-start=\"67\" data-end=\"89\"\u003eyou as the problem\u003c\/strong\u003e. Side effects include intentional chaos, poor life choices, and bystanders suddenly understanding why things are going sideways. Wear accordingly — accountability not included.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"Tactical Gear Junkie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52791242391776,"sku":"TACTICAL_LLAMA_FUCKING_PROBLEM_PVC","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0778\/4562\/7104\/files\/tacticalllama-iidentifyasafuckingproblem_5ac79926-da7c-498e-a2db-737b24f1b5d9.jpg?v=1779815721","url":"https:\/\/www.dividedwefallapparel.com\/products\/tactical-llama-i-identify-as-a-fucking-problem-ocp-3-5-pvc-patch","provider":"Divided We Fall","version":"1.0","type":"link"}